Should My Wannabe Influencer Pal Cease Using Me for Material?
The Prosecution: Beth
Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.
My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.
She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.
She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.
She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.
I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.
She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.
The Defence: The Content Creator's View
I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.
I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.
I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.
Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.
I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.
I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.
I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.
This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.
The Jury: Public Sentiment
Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?
Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25
If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26
Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27
It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53
Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71
Now You Be the Judge
Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?